Conscientious Objector: Conscientious Objector: Getting old is a rude awak...

Conscientious Objector: Conscientious Objector: Getting old is a rude awak...: Conscientious Objector: Getting old is a rude awakening: : "Copyright @ 6/4/2009, Dr. Tendai Ndoro (DocNdoro) – Founder, SLIPPA/Brighten The...

Downgrading America!

I woke up the other morning to hear on NPR (public radio) that Standard & Poor had downgraded America! The first questions that popped in my head were “What does that mean? Is that possible” and the next one “Who had such power and authority to ‘downgrade’ America?” Having listened to all the angry debates, I still could not make heard or tail of it, nor could I wrap my mind around it. Some started attacking the credibility of S&P opinions and predictions given that they had given favorable ratings during the derivative carnage. Others were trying to be intellectually civil and sound “normal” about it. But all I heard were a lot of convoluted explanations full of words that didn’t mean much. One thing I got loud and clear was America’s credit score has gone down – but I thought this only happened to consumers. However, only one angry guy I listened to on NPR articulately claimed that this was another gimmick to create superficial fear and volatility in the market place in order to once again steal from the aspiring middle class investors seemed to make sense to me. I admit, it may be a selective sense because I have always been skeptical of the stock market rain dance principle. I don’t believe in it, nor do I trust the rational of it. But according to my bourgeois friends I am supposed to appreciate the stock market jargon and masquerade like I know that it’s the epitome indicator of one’s financial plan and success. An educated person is supposed to have something  intelligent to say at uppity cocktail soiree. But I live in the real world, good at maths and I have trust issues, so I would never completely trust anyone with my money! It’s the same reason I never gamble, I am a sore loser. By night fall I saw the news cast that Dow has fallen by 635 points.

Anyway as I listened all day to the debates, I also realized that some of the anger stemmed from the fact that people were feeling demeaned and insulted at the idea of being downgraded! I remembered Eddy Murphy in the movie “Trading Places” when he said to Dan Ackroid the worst thing you can do to rich people is to make them poor! Yes, it seemed to me that most of the angry comments were stemming from the fact that our superiority complex had been tarnished. What about what happening in Europe, no one has yet downgraded Greece, Ireland, Spain, Italy, Norway, etc, etc… The same afternoon I talked to my brother-in-law on Skype and he was curious about the economic temperature in the US given the news they were watch on CNN back home. He also enjoys complaining to me from time to time about the hardship in Zimbabwe. I reasoned with him at least they are better off because they are used to their permanent economic hardships and have coping mechanisms already in place. It’s not the same for us. To be downgraded from the position of affluence into hardships is a nasty shock to the system! Therefore we were obviously upset. He thought I was being superior. Maybe so, but the process of assimilation also entails embracing the value system, I retorted. Our conversation got me pondering about all the news trends in the last few weeks – the debt limit stalemate and now the credit downgrading. This has always been a province of the consumer – the idea of having bad credit, not nations. But then again third world countries have always been in debt. All the same, do we need to be borrowing so much as a nation?

 I personally hate living on credit. I have smaller fishes to fry close to home. All day my immediate concerns were on how much the US dollar is going to be trading on the foreign currency market. This I can relate to because its affects me directly. I have overseas tuition to pay and it had increased by 35% in the last 2 years due to the devaluation of the US dollar! I am feeling the pinch! The other day I just flew to Las Vega and sat next to a gentleman from Ireland. He was so happy to tell me that this was his second time visiting the US this year because his Euro was going such a long way! He could now have extravagant vacations to the US like never before; was coming to do his shopping of designer jeans which in Ireland he would pay 150-200 sterling pounds but here he was paying US$100 buck! Really! Good for you, I thought. I was not happy, his meat was my poison! My hard earned US dollar is not worth the same anymore and it does not feel good. I am humbled.

Copyright @ August 8, 2011 by Dr. Tendai Ndoro begin_of_the_skype_highlighting  end_of_the_skype_highl(DocNdoro) – Founder, SLIPPA (Strategy Leadership Institute in Private & Public Affairs); Brighten The Corner Foundation; CEO EDCTrainers, LLC.

Conscientious Objector: A Woman First

Conscientious Objector: A Woman First: "The philosophy of a woman first is simple. It is a philosophy of gender identity and economic empowerment and prescribes that a woman needs ..." 

A woman first prescribes the priority selection of ones gender as a woman, over their race! A woman first is a woman who is mindful. A woman first acknowledges the diverse experiences and challenges all women navigate through life understanding that despite geography and history, women endure and overcome. A woman first leads.

A Woman First

The philosophy of a woman first is simple. It is a philosophy of gender identity and economic empowerment and prescribes that a woman needs to build her identity around the fact that she is A WOMAN FIRST!  It is a gender based philosophy. It’s also an economic philosophy.  Yes it may have feminist connotations, but it’s not a feminist identity. It’s a womanist or womanness identity. It allows the woman to strategically navigate the universe of her options. For most women, that universe is defined by their socio-cultural context. Therefore, woman first philosophies help women gain self consciousness that is not in conflict with their socio-cultural perspective. Therein lays its sustainability, because it does not lead to an identity crisis compromise or a self-mutilating duality.

It’s not about the woman competing with; conquering or castrating or emulating the opposite sex. It’s not about having to choose between gender role priorities and having to negate the fact that sometimes she is a mother, wife, lover, career executive, mentor, friend or role model – she is all those things and must embrace all the gender roles she has to partake in. It’s not about having to choose between socio-cultural mandates or eco-political status quo, but about building on self awareness, taking ownership of one’s strengths and weaknesses without the need to tear her female counterparts, but seeking win/win cooperative and/or collaborative economic empowerment. Whether the cooperation is with one’s significant other, with ones cultural demands, expectation or with one’s gender realities and constraints, she relates from the position of both internal and material empowerment. Thus, A Woman First philosophy provides a launch pad for all informed decision making in one’s life. There are some things a woman cannot change, however she can always tactfully navigate for a win/win outcome understanding that ultimately she has the real power and greater gains come from exercising that power thoughtfully and gracefully. That’s being a woman first!

Ultimately, a woman first is about self consciousness – a liberated, consistent self conscious state of mind. It’s about peeling and dealing with the realities in the world, recognizing that there are opportunities, consequences and sacrifices but either she can choose whether to pay or not to pay the price for being a free self. It’s never about accepting or conceding to circumstances when she exercises her option of choice.

Copyright @ July 21, 2011 by Dr. Tendai Ndoro begin_of_the_skype_highlighting  end_of_the_skype_highl(DocNdoro) – Founder, SLIPPA (Strategy Leadership Institute in Private & Public Affairs); Brighten The Corner Foundation; CEO EDCTrainers, LLC.

Conscientious Objector: “It was Great!”

Conscientious Objector: “It was Great!”: "“It was Great!” Recently my 7 year old son went to a new summer school and every time he came home I would ask him “How was school?” and he..."

A question of the Personal & Intimate

A question of the Personal & Intimate:

In the last month of July 2011, I have been grappling with the issue of how personal and intimate I should be in my blog: Conscientious Objector. Thus I have written many articles yet I have posted none! The story articles I write depart from my world view yet sometimes they involve very real experiences of intimate issues of family members in my inner circle! While none of them have chastised me for sharing our dramas, I am torn between being authentic yet at the same time being private – a dichotomy of personality traits I inherited from both my parents: on one hand, of my father’s very authentic, yet public persona, and on the other of my mom’s very private and censured silence. I have not yet decided which way to go. Thus I am caught up in my very own new challenge: so much to say yet not sure how much to say! To those of you who are reading what I put out there – to comment is great, but to follow is priceless!

Copyright @ August 2, 2011 time 11:18pm  by Dr. Tendai Ndoro begin_of_the_skype_highlighting  end_of_the_skype_highl(DocNdoro) – Founder, SLIPPA (Strategy Leadership Institute in Private & Public Affairs); Brighten The Corner Foundation; CEO EDCTrainers, LLC.

“It was Great!”

“It was Great!”

Recently my 7 year old son went to a new summer school and every time he came home I would ask him “How was school?” and he always answers: “It was Great!” That’s all he said. I was dying to learn more, so I would proceed firing questions at him like “Why was it great?” What did you do that was so great?” “What did you do?” etc, etc…but that all I would get. I was reassured by the big smile on his face that he was having a good experience. Yet I was so caught up in my need for more details on the spot that I would press him to tell me more, but being on the high functioning Autistic spectrum with a language delay, that all he could say at the time. So I would spend the next hour trying to prod him to tell me the great part, but in vain. After a couple of weeks, I had to compromise with myself to settled for the “It was Great!!” But I was dying to go to the school for an observation of the class, talk to the teacher and/or his aid but I did not want to seem like a helicopter Mom so I controlled myself.

By the third week I had calmed and stilled myself, then something miraculous happened. I was going about my business at home when I heard him repeated the names of the dinosaurs he has learnt about the week before. I had seen the class work and handouts he brought home. Then he was saying what they like to eat – meat or plants! Most of the conversation was rhetorical statement to himself, and I imagined to whoever else in his universe who cared to hear. I started listening. I listened. I realized that he was actually going over his lesson notes, reciting and mimicking what he had learnt with great enthusiasm! As a professor by training, I also realize this was learning manifesting itself in reality. That’s how we internalized knowledge as a post relevant fact! The more my consciousness and attention presence became aligned with his I got to know about what he had done well after the fact in great detail. Sometimes, to gain favor he would show me his schoolwork and say “Great job, it’s time for cookie” thus telling me that he had done a great job in class and deserved a reward. Week four he was talking to himself about the food chain! And to me as he ate his dinner he talked about which food belong were in the food chain. Prior, he had started refusing he favorite vegetables – broccoli, but now he was back to loving it again and asking for more telling me that it’s a vegetable plant belong in the food chain! I was stumped.

As an academician I also had an epiphany – is socialization marginalizing us into a mob think mentality where conformity and averageness are the only standards to measure intelligence? I have anxiety attacks about how the world will relate and react to my son as he grows into an adult. What will become of him if something happens to me! Although, I have always been an intellectual misfit myself, I was calibrated. There were times when I used to care that I did not belong, was not in the popular crowd, was conspicuous of the fact that I was an outlier, and saw the world it such different ways than most average people. But I was “typical” (in other words “normal”) and could differentiate the ‘acceptable’ behavioral socio-cultural; socio-political and socio-economic  norms based on my socialization and could make informed decision choices as to whether I needed to be politically correct or rouge! Yet for my son, a child and/or adult on the Autistic spectrum there is no choice! This cost/benefit calculus does not come naturally, or rather is not “natural” according to our world. They are so ‘primitively’ pure and sincerely innocent in the manner with which they instinctively relate to the world, unbounded by socialization training, teaching, constrains, expectations or boundaries. They do what’s intuitively innate and spontaneously primal.

As I was marinating in this epiphany, I also realized that the irony of it is I have been fighting my school district to provide “social skills therapy” for my son! But now I am not so sure. Do I want him to be socialized into a dysfunctional human being misfit or would I rather he remains an authentic original relic of his parallel universe? I know that in an unaccepting, judgmental conformist world this is suicidal! I comfort myself, “If I were rich, maybe this would be an alternative!” The reality is I am not. But I live in the real world…I like everyone else, am striving for wealth creation. However, because of my son I see all that’s wrong with our “typical” universe and the intolerance and fear that comes with it toward people who do not fit the social norm.  NOW I understood why his day was just “GREAT!”  He was learning something new and relishing in the beauty of knowledge for knowledge itself. He was knowing and differently connecting the dots of how things related in his universe. I hope for a paradigm shift in how we raise and groom our children, especially those with different developmental abilities, but reality is – It may not be in my life time or my son’s for that matter!

Copyright @ August 2, 2011 by Dr. Tendai Ndoro begin_of_the_skype_highlighting  end_of_the_skype_highl(DocNdoro) – Founder, SLIPPA (Strategy Leadership Institute in Private & Public Affairs); Brighten The Corner Foundation; CEO EDCTrainers, LLC.