I was driving with my son the other day, and someone cut me off….I yelled “Idiot Moron B**tch!” and from the back seat of the car I heard “Moron Beach”. That was my son. For a split second, I wasn’t sure what he said because my son has his own language speech because he combines word together so it sounded like he said “morebeach”. We had just been to the beach the day before so I figured he was trying to indicate that he wanted to go back to the beach because we were on the road (Garden State Parkway) that takes you to the Long Branch Beach in Central Jersey. So I let it slide and engaging him saying we were not going to the beach but running errands.
Then another day again some stupid driver was driving so selfishly hogging the lane and as I tried to pass him he started accelerating. As I finally sped past him I yelled more to myself than the driver “Moron Idiot!” Again from the back seat I heard “F*** U moron idiot” Of course it sounded like “Fakumoreidiot!” I definitely heard the word “idiot” clearly. This driver happened to be a man! By mere extrapolation, I was now convinced of what I heard because I could not come up with any “synonym” for the words I thought my son had uttered…though I still was not sure. I looked at him, he had a serious straight face intently focusing on the road and other motorist as we drove on and sitting nicely in his seatbelt. I inquired “What did you say Za?” But he would not repeat it but instead looked at me like “What are you talking about Mommy?”
Then I started pondering. This was not the first time my son had interjected whenever I yell at someone on the road. I used to be polite, making nice comments like “Commoooon, didn’t u see me!” or “Plizzzzze, just because your SUV is bigger than mine u do not have to be rude on the road” or “ We are all trying to get somewhere”. But lately my comments have gotten somewhat “hot & spicy”.
Then I started pondering. This was not the first time my son had interjected whenever I yell at someone on the road. I used to be polite, making nice comments like “Commoooon, didn’t u see me!” or “Plizzzzze, just because your SUV is bigger than mine u do not have to be rude on the road” or “ We are all trying to get somewhere”. But lately my comments have gotten somewhat “hot & spicy”.
I first took notice of my road rage when I was coming from JFK airport with my daughter, who was visiting on holiday from boarding school in June. I released one of my exploitative and she gave me one of her sideway glances and smiled….(her polite way of saying “Mummy don’t be rude!”). Well she is attending one of those “British” boarding schools in Africa where etiquette and manners is equally important as academics , if not more important than academics. Of course she couldn’t voice her opinion aloud because it would have been improper, but also because my son was in the Car. The second time it happened, that is me cursing at another motorist, it was just me and her in the car coz my son was in School. Then she said “Ahh Mummy!” That was enough to let me know she did not approve of my tasty language! I had not even realized I am doing it. Let alone doing it so frequently. So I became conscious from that day on.
Well, I thought, when I am alone it’s was fine. But this is how habits take root and this one seems to have taken root already because now my son was saying “Moron Bitch” in concert with me! This is an epiphany for me. I have always wondered about people who end up shooting fellow motorist and wonder how can just a small driving infraction lead someone to such a drastic action? Well you get there gradually and totally unconscious of it. I have even been fantasizing about being a traffic cop and putting my siren on whenever one of those inconsiderate “idiots” cut me off and give them a hefty ticket! Just the thought and satisfaction of it makes me feel warm! So when my 6 year old starts repeating after me, it’s bad, really bad. I don’t feel rage-full like I know normal rage, but I confess, I have road rage! OMG I am becoming one of those people!
When I told my boyfriend this incident the other day he said he had noticed I have gotten a “little foul mouthed”, which absolutely hurt my feelings. I argued that I have not (not in front of him anyway). He said I have used the “BS” word when I am ticked off and I defended that BS is NOT - a curse word and it does not warrant me being labeled “foul mouthed”? He disagrees. My other friend said I should seek help with a professional therapist! But I don’t believe in spending a dime in them people, God that’s my free therapist. So I am in one of my spiritual cleansing session!
Well, I thought, when I am alone it’s was fine. But this is how habits take root and this one seems to have taken root already because now my son was saying “Moron Bitch” in concert with me! This is an epiphany for me. I have always wondered about people who end up shooting fellow motorist and wonder how can just a small driving infraction lead someone to such a drastic action? Well you get there gradually and totally unconscious of it. I have even been fantasizing about being a traffic cop and putting my siren on whenever one of those inconsiderate “idiots” cut me off and give them a hefty ticket! Just the thought and satisfaction of it makes me feel warm! So when my 6 year old starts repeating after me, it’s bad, really bad. I don’t feel rage-full like I know normal rage, but I confess, I have road rage! OMG I am becoming one of those people!
When I told my boyfriend this incident the other day he said he had noticed I have gotten a “little foul mouthed”, which absolutely hurt my feelings. I argued that I have not (not in front of him anyway). He said I have used the “BS” word when I am ticked off and I defended that BS is NOT - a curse word and it does not warrant me being labeled “foul mouthed”? He disagrees. My other friend said I should seek help with a professional therapist! But I don’t believe in spending a dime in them people, God that’s my free therapist. So I am in one of my spiritual cleansing session!
As for my son, I am still trying to figure out a way to get him to confess to exactly what he said without making it even more “interesting” by repeating the censored vocabulary or undermining my authority. I think if I say it then I am reinforcing it and then tell him how wrong it is, then what it says about his mommy…. She uses bad words? It’s a delicate situation. Anyway I will consult with my higher power therapist on that one.
Originally published on FB Monday, August 2, 2010 at 3:06pm.
Copyright @ August 2, 2010 (Edited and republished February11, 2011) by Dr. Tendai Ndoro (DocNdoro) – Founder, SLIPPA &Brighten The Corner Foundation; CEO EDCTrainers, LLC.
No comments:
Post a Comment